Meet the States!
by chibioso
Summary: Meet all 50 of America's kids! The reason why america is getting grey hair, and the nightmare which makes Hollywood seem nice.


**This is my first story that i actually went over. Also my sister 9foxgrl helped look over the grammar, and spelling. If you still see some mistakes please tell me. This might be a crack fic, or stupid, depends on you. Also this takes place in no specific time in the series. Enjoy!**

**I Don't own Hetalia **

It was another exciting world conference, or boring by means. China was trying to teach Italy the famous spinning plate trick, which most Chinese acrobats know. Germany was keeping an eye on both of them just to make sure nothing happened. Japan was not among them, he was helping his boss with paper work (at least five months' worth). Britain and France were arguing again over something stupid, and Russia was sitting at the table thinking of which of his evil malicious plots he should take into action to take down the countries and he was especially thinking about his radioactive, rainbow colored fluffy puppy! And of course Canada was being ignored by mostly everybody but luckily for him, Sealand was also there, so the both of them were having a Pokemon battle on their ds so they were occupied and happy.

Everything was going swell in the meeting right? No, you're dead wrong people. But the only one missing was America; he may be hard headed sometimes, but at least he always remembers to come to the meeting at least. This time he had a reason to be late but what the others thought, not so much.

The only one who actually noticed America absence was France after a while since he's tied to a chair forced to eat Britain's week old scones…

"Hey! Where's America? Is he even here?" France managed to yell before Britain stuff his mouth with more scones.

"Ve I seen him earlier on the 5th floor earlier, he was rushing to somewhere….." Italy chimed in.

"Bloody hell, that wanker, he may be my brother, but he's clueless most of the time." Sighed Britain

"Well he better be here, he still owns me money" China suddenly remembered.

"Da"

"mmmmritian stmm wimh tme smones"

"What? Speak normal man!" Britain yelled at France and smacked him, which made the scones fly out of his mouth hitting poor Russia with dead accuracy right in the head….

"Bleah, someone go search for America, and someone get me the hell out of this chair!" Suddenly everybody moved to the other side of the room were Russia was knocked out on the floor from the scones (did I mention that they were rock hard?).

"DOTSUI! LOOK IM DOING IT YAYY!" yelled Italy as he finally managed to keep the plates spinning on the sticks he was holding.

"That's great, be careful I'll be back I'm going to find America." Germany said as he walked off.

They waited a while, soon an hour went by and no Germany or America. So either the countries fell asleep, watched Italy who was still doing the spinning plate trick, or they drew on Russia's face with sharpie markers of all colors, especially the Baltic States. But no one noticed but Belarus was trying to get some marriage papers from Poland who had a whole stack in his brief case. (Even I don't know, don't ask)

"Come on China stack more plates on!"

"I don't think that's a good idea you're just a beginner, even I couldn't do that."

"Why not? It's almost like making pasta but in a really weird way, like British people and their food."

"Hey! My cooking isn't that bad"

"YES IT IS BRITAIN "shouted the other countries.

Suddenly Germany ran in looking extremely pale and started to blockade the door.

"Ah Germany what's wrong? It's like you ate bad pasta"

"There's fifty of them!"

"Fifty of what?"

"Americas they look like him, oh gosh its worst then trying to get Italy away from a plate of pasta! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" Suddenly he started to run around in a circle then around the meeting room like a manic screaming at the top of his lungs.

At that same moment Prussia came through the barricaded door making Germany scream like a little girl and rushed to hide under table.

"Whoa, what happen to my little brother?"

"I don't know something about fifty Americas." Said Britain

"Hungry, Austria go get Germany from under the table you two are better with children."

"What the hell are you talking about Prussia, I write and teach music, I'm not a baby sitter" Austria shouted.

"Just help Mr. Austria; come here Germany, it's alright." Hungry said while trying to get Germany with a strait jacket and at the same time, trying to calm him down as he was like a little scared puppy.

But he wouldn't come near her. But in the end, France lured Germany from under the table with a German chocolate cake on a fishing lure. From there, Britain jumped him by putting Hungary's strait jacket on him. While all that was going on, Prussia was beating Austria up with Ukraine's pitch fork. Leaving Hungry to watch, not wanting to help Austria this time.

"Aliens, they came to turn my brain into sausages! Someone help! "Shouted Germany, as he was squirming trying to take off the jacket.

"Ok, he must have finally snapped." Said Ukraine, who wasn't paying attention to any of the events going on.

"So what do we do now with the crazed German?" asked Britain.

"I agree with Britain for once" France sighed.

Also at that moment America barged in through the somewhat barricaded door, sending all the furniture everywhere and causing Germany to scream like a little girl (again…)who just seen the screaming banshee and ran into Italy causing him to drop the plates on Germany and himself. This resulted both of them being knocked out cold.

"Oh snap, what happened to both of them." America said while pointing to Germany and Italy who were sprawled on the floor with broken plates around them.

"Well Italy was learning a new trick, Germany went to go look for you but then came in later and started to freak out. We had him under control, until you came. Also, Prussia beat the living daylight out of Austria. " explained France

"So pretty much those three are near death right, dudes?"

Suddenly Russia rose from the floor like Dracula from his coffin, scaring the Baltic States who were still doodling on Russia's face.

"Near death? Can I help plan their funeral?" Russia said as he rose from the floor. Once he was fully standing up he saw the others not trying to laugh at something, but he didn't know what. He seen a mirror in his right hand and looked into it and saw that the others drawn on his face. There was a mustache, a rainbow, stick figures fighting on a piano, a flying horse, pasta, an eye patch drawn across his left eye and on the other part of his face "I hate you" words from other people'. And Latvia did the worst terrible mistake in his life by writing 'pictures drawn by the Baltic States', right across Russia's forehead. Suddenly the room was filled with an evil aura,

"Mr. Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, why did you draw on my face." Russia's said with a death threat voice.

"LATVIA!" Estonia and Lithuania screamed in unison.

"I'm' sorry please don't yell at me! I thought it would be funny. "Latvia cried out.

Out of now were Russia brought out his pipe and started to walk slowly towards the Baltic States. Scarring everyone in the entire room, but luckily Canada and Sealand managed to escape the room before Russia went psycho on everyone.

"Russia, dude you can go psycho on them later. Right now we need to help these other dudes on the floor over there."

"You die first America!" Russia said bitterly and started to charge towards the others. Suddenly America shoved France in front of him.

"Go France use petal dance!"

"Huh?"

"Throw rose petals, or a bunch of roses at him. And hurry he's using pipe smash!" Shouted America

But France didn't react fast enough and got hit and got K.O., by Russia in one hit to the head. Causing Russia's special effect to active, Moxie.

"No! France you idiot! You cause him to get stronger more than he is already. I knew I should have you play the video games more. Alright then, Britain I choose you!" Then America shoved Britain in front.

"Bloody hell! I'm not a Pokémon you wanker."

"Britain use scone attack!"

"WHAT!?"

"Throw scones at Russia" yelled China.

"It won't do anything but ok." Britain threw the scones he had already in his pockets (which were the ones he was trying to get France to eat earlier...)

To his amazement one of the scones hit Russia in the head making the large nation slightly disoriented.

"Russia is confused!" Japan yelled. To everyone's amazement Japan came out of nowhere, because they all thought that he was helping his boss with paperwork.

"What are you doing here?" asked china.

"I'm the official referee! America tell Britain to use curse and hurry before he's not confused anymore."

"Quick! Use British Curse!"

"…uh…."

"Dude, you one of your scary curses and quick! Hurry bro hurry!"

Too bad Britain, Russia was quicker but since Russia was confused, he only hurt himself causing bit damage. So Britain did manage to cast one of his spells causing critical damage to Russia. But Russia was confused anymore, but he had really low HP.

"Alright, he has low HP, now Britain use Scone attack one more time!"

Britain got to go first since Russia was affected by the British curse. And so he managed to hit Russia dead on with all the scones he had and he fainted or knocked out…..either or.

"The battle is over, America and Britain wins!" shouted Japan

"Russia, Dude now you owe me 5,000 dollars!"

"But now we need a doctor to help all these countries."

"I'll help big brother Russia" Belarus said creepily right beside Britain Also she had the marriage papers (from earlier from Poland) in one hand and some rope over her shoulder.

"I don't think so little sister. But go mess with Romano he's trying to be friends with big brother." Ukraine bravely told her little sister so she wouldn't try to force Russia to marry her.

"WHAT?! NOT HAPPENING RUSSIA'S MINE" with that she ran off to go find Romano who oddly just came in at the wrong moment and wrong time.

"Italy time to g…" But he didn't get to finish his sentence for his saw Belarus charging towards him.

"RUSSIA'S MINE YOU TOMATO LOVING BASTARD!"

"HOLY CRAPOLA!" Romano ran out the door with Belarus right on his heels. Out of now where he brought out a walkie-talkie and shouted "BOYS GET READY! SET UP THE TOMATO BOMBS! TODAY'S WEATHER IS 100% SHIT STORM RIGHT TARGET IS BELARUS!"

"COME BACK HERE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

That could have been weirder but anyways that really left the countries like what the tart was that?

"Ok….."

"Now that's she's gone, we need a real doctor."

"Your right Bro. I have the perfect one on such short notice!"

America ran to the phone on the wall near the door and started to call someone. Confusing the others.

"Hey, can you come over to the main meeting room since your still there. No, that's not why. For crying out loud, tell NJ this is not an Italian take out line and seriously tell her to calm down already. Tell her to help MD with her project. But anyways come quick it's an emergency! We need a doctor. You already have three dogs, why do you need another one? Fine then, I'll get you that dog, just come now!"

A minute later a preteen girl with auburn hair wearing scrubs and a white lab coat came flying through the door.

"The heroine has arrived! Where are the patients?"

All the countries pointed to the other countries that were all over the room.

"Really? Couldn't you put them in a pile together or at least put them on the huge couch over there to make it easier for me? "

"I told you it was emergency…"

"Fine then, I need 5,000 dollars after this to cover the emergency. Medical cost are getting expensive now a days."

"There goes the money I won from Russia. Get Russia fixed up first so he can pay you."

"The guy with the doodles on his face, and scones around him? Did Belarus drug him or did he drank too much vodka?"

"….Long story…"

So the young girl went on healing all of them staring with Russia. But to Russia's horror he couldn't drink or eat anything vodka related for the next four days or he would die because the pills he has to take. France and Italy were easy to take care of they just needed aspirin for the next few hours. But France got out his ds and starting to keep on playing his Pokemon game just in case America threw him into another country battle. Germany was the biggest problem; he had to be tied to a chair because everyone was worried that he would do something nuts that well, what Germany wouldn't do.

"Untie me you sausage loving aliens!"

"I'm a doctor, not an alien."

"Yes you are!"

"Prussia give me a box of your beer that you have stashed somewhere in this room!"

"Hide beer in here. Me? How stupid do you think I am to hide beer behind the revolutionary war painting?"

"You idiot you just told them!" shouted Austria from his corner.

"Dudes I found it! Next time Prussia, don't make a hole in my wall. "

"Throw me a pack!"

"Which kind?"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! JUST GET ME THE ONE THAT GERMANY LIKES!"

"….."

"Gah, only the mighty Prussia knows which one his little brother likes! It's the yellow one, on the far right side. Catch!"

"I got it!" The girl uncapped the beer bottles and put it in a huge water bottle the size of a small home printer and then tried to shove it in Germany's mouth.

"You shall never turn me into a sausage you alien!"

"For the last time I'm not an alien!"

"Yes you are!"

"Hey look a cheese blimp!"

"WHERE!?"

"Look up!"

"CHEESE!"

"DRINK THE DAM BEER AND BE CURED MUWHAHAHAH!" shouted the girl and then laughed like a mad man.

"Bloody hell…. America you know mad men…" whispered Britain.

"*cough, cough* Bleah! That was the nastiest beer I've ever drunk!"

"Hey look doutsu isn't a sissy anymore!" chimed Italy happily.

"So Germany dude, what happened to you? You came in the other conference room upstairs. When you entered the room for a moment and then ran out the door looking extremely pale."

"The last thing I remember is that I went to go find you America. Then when I entered that room I've seen a bunch of people in that room that look almost or exactly like you. WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE?"

"Oh them, there my kids, like the one beside you."

"Bloody hell! America when did you have kids! And whose their mum!"

"Well right after I got my independence from you. Every state that I went to I found them living with some people of the town, with the Native Americans, or they were homeless. Also I have no idea, I found them like you, Finland, and France found me."

"Ok, good enough. As long as they didn't turn out crazy like you America."

"Don't worry Uncle Arthur, most of us turned out alright, and dad took care of us pretty well. Unless you count four of us, those just turned out more nuts. Even dad doesn't know why."

"Who are the four?"

"Uh… Hey can you untie me! I'm back to normal."

"Hold on let me get the scissors" sighed China.

"I'll tell you later."

**10 min later…. **

"Well I'm glad that's over. America, next time tell me when your kids are here for a meeting! I don't want to have a heart attack!"

"Ok Germany, but you should see Wisconsin he acts just like you!"

"Mein Gott…" he groaned.

"Since you're my niece, what your name I didn't catch it?"

"I am North Carolina! The tar heel state, also first in flight! You can call me NC for short." beamed NC.

"Wait aren't you where I built the lost colony?"

"Yep!"

"Then do you know what happened to them then?"

"Nope! I didn't exist yet. If I was, they would of went to live with the Croatons. I mean you were so busy fighting with Spain, you didn't even try to bother to send back a ship with supplies."

"How could I? We were at war! He was richer than any other country in Europe!"

"SO? BEFORE THE SPANISH ARMADA EVEN SAIL YOU STILL COULD HAVE SENT A SHIP!"

"IT WAS TIME OF WAR! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? A CHILD LIKE YOU I BET EVEN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN IT COMES TO WAR!"

"YES I DO AND WAR ISN'T EVERYTHING! Unless you have a good reason, like the American revolution, and helping allies. BUT IN THE END WOULDN'T YOU HAVE GONE TO LIVE WITH THE FRIENDLY NATIVE AMERICANS IF YOU HADE NOTHING TO EAT?"

"Well…."

"Exactly!"

"That's sad bro, my kid showed you. It really is, I bet everyone else agreed."

Everyone shook their head in agreement. Britain anime fell. He thought he would finally know what happened to the colony. But in the end he got a lesson from a child. Especially if it was America's.

**YAY! First chapter down! if you noticed the Pokemon related stuff, well i like Pokemon. No FLAMES! Anyways did you like it, hate it, didn't make sense? Please review!**


End file.
